the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
