no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
