what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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