That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
