Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
