i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize