You're so nebulous sometimes
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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