of course. lets lasso hookers.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
