I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
