Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
