Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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