end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Buhtt sex?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
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underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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