oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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