smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
