please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
