theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
