She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize