please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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