it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
