i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
