Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
