My hand turned me down
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
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