We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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