The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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