we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
