I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
