I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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