Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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