So drunk its hurt
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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