I hate all girls vehemently.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
