Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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