I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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