Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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