haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
