This girl is more easily done than said...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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