if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
