Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
