if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
