I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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