we have officially lost it.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
