How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
