He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize