Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I looked at my own cervix.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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