Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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