what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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