Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I would fuck him just for his dog
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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