brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
