if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I skipped work to stalk him.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
