note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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