Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
