yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
God I need to hump something, right now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize