No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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