First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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