i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
