you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
