So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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