so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
