things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
